Ahh, the new year has arrived.
I personally hate making New Year's resolutions because I agree with those that believe that resolutions can be made on any day of the year.
However, I will be the biggest hippocrite right now and admit that starting with the new year, I want is to blog everyday for 100 days. It will be called "Project Happiness".
Now before you vomit at the cheesiness of this title, I beg you to hold it in until I finish explaining it, even though that might make you vomit even more. Also, I must warn you that this entry will be one of the few formal (sike!) entries I will make, it being the New Year and I feel a sense of wisdom from just turning 21 less a few days ago.
***So the following will be all the things that had happened, including my accomplishments, in the last year. You may skip it if you'd like, I wrote a bit too much, but at least scroll down to the end to find out more about my New Year's resolution!
Anyways, last year, ever since my break-up, well, it was more like three months after my break-up, since that was the time I stopped sleeping with my ex, that I finally tried to get over the whole damn thing and move on. I hated myself for making him my sole provider for happiness. It's disgusting, and difficult to admit because I hate people that do that. As naive as it sounds, I thought we were going to be together forever, so every time something good happened, it was "our" happy moments. I can tell you that during these times of trying to move on, there was not one moment that I could recall that made me happy that did NOT involve him.
Like most people, I tried new things, but not to get over him. To get over him, I think what I did was the best, for me at least. I tackled on my feelings every single day like a pathetic bitch until I got over it, and I got over it surprisingly fast. Screw those who say, "It takes you half the time you were with that person to get over them," 'cause it took me less than two months for my nearly three year relationship. This was the first time I was dumped and the first time that I would be really single since the 7th grade.
I tried new things to make me happy. I made lists, oh, how I love lists!, of goals that I wanted to accomplish. They would be MY accomplishments, things that I would do for myself that would make me happy. I never want to be as miserable as I was after a break-up again, feeling like there was no happiness in my life. I used to say that I did whatever I wanted in my relationship, and I did, but those accomplishments would have been seen as "ours".
So I rushed and pledged a sorority, something I told myself I would never do, because I did not want to be someone else's bitch. Also, I chose a sorority that I never would've dreamed of choosing even if I had wanted to join a sorority. I grew up and went to school in a diverse area. I had friends of different backgrounds, but I would mostly hang out with the other Asians. It was like this in grade school, middle school, high school, and the beginning of college. It was like the Asian group had gotten bigger as the years passed. So many Asians. I chose to stay away from the Asian-interest sororities that almost all of my friends joined, and instead joined a multicultural one. Sure, I was a late joiner, and I barely had time to rush for DXP, and was too late for the Asian-interest ones, but if I really wanted to be in those Asian-interest ones, I would've have waited for the next semester to do it. So those that think I did it just because everyone else was and had to resort to DXP, you need to chill. There will always be mad drama when a bunch of girls are together, but I am still glad I chose DXP. I have this whole different group, smaller and more diverse. I really needed that.
I even got my belly button pierced in February. Its crazy, that me, someone so insecure with their body, would let someone other than her significant other see her stomach to pierce it, do that. Maybe its from my sheltered upbringing that made me feel so badass waiting to be called in, but I did it, and my parents have still yet to find out, but if they did, they would just see a scar from the rejected ring. This I regret doing because now I have a scar since I took it out in September, so not sexy -_-.
I also decided to study abroad. I always wanted to do this, but I planned on doing it Spring semester of my Junior year not a Summer program that I barely knew anything about. The deadline was less than a month, and I had not looked into all the programs that interested me. I just kind of chose a summer one, and went with it. Thank god I did because it was the best experience of my life so far. I had always loved travelling. My family and I used to take so many road trips all over the U.S. and Canada when I was younger because we have family everywhere. No lie. This trip was my second time traveling alone, but my first time overseas. This was when I was grateful that I was single, because I don't think I would have had as much fun committed to someone overseas, or I would have a different kind of fun, which I don't think I would've liked as much as this "single fun". This experience was also amazing because in England, I realized what I didn't want to do and found out what I really did want to do. I also rekindled my love for literature. Motivation for me was nonexistent until this experience.
I decided to do a documentary about being homeless for a year, sleeping and showering where I was welcomed. Thanks to my friends, I always had a place to stay. I thought I was going to study abroad again in the Spring, so it would be a waste to just do it for a semester, so I stopped recording and taking notes and just being lazy in my friends' apartment, but since I probably won't go again until next Fall, I will try to start documenting again, but I have OCD and I hate not having everything from last semester, so I might just stick to blogging. We'll see how it works out.
This last semester, I had many more responsibilities. I was treasurer and in charge of the fundraising committee for DXP, worked everyday for $8/hr, and I took on 21 credits because I wanted to graduate early with a Political Science degree and a Chinese minor. I was so ready to just graduate, make fast cash to pay off loans, save up, and then travel, but then I realized how much I didn't love Political Science. Sure, I first decided to major in it because I wanted to go to law school and it made sense to take it on as a major, but now that I don't want to go to law school, shouldn't I major in something that I'm passionate about? At this point, it was too late to switch into all English classes, so I looked into a double major. After much discussion with an advisor, it was then decided that I would just finish with the Poli Sci, and double minor, but as the semester went on, I just don't think Poli Sci is for me. Nothing motivated me to do well in my Poli Sci classes. Other than lacking passion, being lazy as fuck also doesn't help my case, but as a mediocre Asian student with a traditional and religious family, I am in desperate need of an ego boost, so why not a dual degree, and just suck it up? For now, its looking like that, even though I just made my first D(+) ever, in my life! But despite all this, for the Fall Semester, I felt a lot happier with myself overall. That should count for something, right?
I died my hair blue in October! Well, just the bottom section of my hair because I wanted to and blue is my absolute favorite color! I only died my hair once before, which I didn't like much, but this is the time to live life! It was really nice for a week, then it turned into a nasty green mucus color. I'm planning on re dyeing it red before I leave for Australia.
I also decided to study abroad again, this time in Australia, which will get in the way of my plans of backpacking through Western Europe summer 2012. Soon, Europe, we WILL meet again. I was originally going to go Spring semester coming up, but I didn't want to miss my baby brother's graduation. I should stop talking about it like its a definite, money is a big issue right now, and I don't know if failing a class is fine for someone that wants to study abroad. Hopefully I will still be able to go next Fall. *fingers crossed*
I was the bigger person, I was the one that got in touch with my ex again so that we would not be on bad terms.
I turned 21! Sure I've had my share of drinking. I'm in college, and I went to Europe, where the drinking age was, in most places, 18+. I had achieved one of my college goals, to get black-out drunk. Although it may sound like I'm a loser for having this as a goal, I want to experience everything, the good and the bad, unless it kills me or puts me in a situation where I will feel excruciating pain. So what can you say about your life, if you are just going to be a goody-two-shoes forever, you pussy bitch?
I'm starting to like myself more, and I finally admitted how much I love my family, especially my parents, who have always sacrificed so much for me.
***
Anyways! I have decided to blog everyday for 100 days with a picture that was taken with my camera/iphone, usually a picture taken by me, taken that same day, of something that has made my day. I just don't want to waste a day being depressed or angry about something. I want to recognize the beauty in every new day, appreciate life more. Here commences the nasty corniness that I had been avoiding these last few years, since I am usually bitter. You are welcome to throw-up now. Its hard not to, when you, my friends, have been used to my cynicism for years. I actually kind of miss those days. I've gotten too nice. *shivers*
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